Empty Hands. A Full Heart.

I seriously cannot believe that it has taken me an entire two months to finally blog. Dos meses! Seriously?!? Wow, but that just shows how busy life got as soon as those weeks of final exams took over my life last semester.

I shudder at the thought of the incredible amount of late night studying, insane amount of caffeine intake (plus all the $ spent at Starbucks!), and long days of memorizing concepts in order to make sense of the fact patterns given for each essay exam! Last semester, I took five law courses, which at first glance seems okay, but not when I finally realized that I would (once again) have to study for five final exams which for the most part were 100% of my semester grade! Ugh. I had not done that to myself since 1L year. And it was not fun then. Nor was it fun putting myself through it again. No fun at all.

But, well, it's all over. And I survived! By the grace (and mercy!) of God, I passed every single one of those exams. As I shared in my previous blog, SI SE PUEDE!!! In law school, a good grade is a bonus to thank God for, but passing the course is a tremendous blessing itself!

So, here I am finally in my LAST semester of law school! Only 11 credits away from finishing and moving back to, wait for it.... wait for it.....well, moving back to the amazing state of California! I am soooooooo looking forward to it!

It brings a huge smile to my face and a warm, fuzzy, feeling in my heart to imagine myself sitting at a SoCal beach once again, with my eyes closed, facing the Pacific Ocean, while a beautiful west coast sunset over the ocean radiates on my face to the point that I can absorb its heat in full delight. Hmmm. Cannot wait for this mental picture to once again be a reality!

But, in the meantime, I'm still a 3L for a few more months. And, I'm still on the east coast where, for now, a sunrise over the ocean is what I can enjoy only if I wake up early enough and if the weather happens to cooperate that day. So here's to working steadily just a bit longer and for continuously thanking God for how incredibly faithful He's been in my life, time after time.

When I was little (age-wise, not necessarily in physical stature since not much changed there), I wondered what would happen in my life as I grew up. It's funny to remember some of the stuff I dreamed of doing...like being a rockstar and singing with a back-then-popular-teen singer (reminds me of some teen girls today!)...I'm so glad some dreams change along the way!

And "growing up" is not quite always the way we picture it. For example, after graduating from college, realizing that maybe working in American politics was not the sole reason for my existence, and after all of a sudden "accidentally" working for a law firm advocating for the wellbeing and protection of vulnerable children in the United States, I knew, somehow, my heart was finally at home.

It's interesting that often, you just know you have absolutely nada to offer, but it is those moments that apparently God is delighted in using to show you it's not about what you might have, but what He can do through you. I wish I could say that in my life I have reached out and helped hundreds of children. Or at least one child. But honestly, I can't at all say that. What I can say, is that God miraculously has poured some of His love into my heart, and that I have attempted to share it with children by smiling, hugging, and trying my best to care about the numerous children who I have been lucky to meet, and who have unbelievable stories of survival amidst incredible pain and exemplary forgiveness in their short years of life.

Often, I remember their sweet, glowing faces, and I pray for them. I know that I might not ever see them or hold their hands again, but the same heavenly Father who knows me, sees and cares for them better than I could ever attempt to do so.

So, as I finally approach the end of my last semester of law school, I thank God for the strength He's so faithfully given me to survive and keep believing in His purpose amidst what is often the dreariness of a legal education.

There are many things to look forward to in 2012. Graduation is one. California is another. And, the most important is continuing with where God leads as the next step. I am praying for the next stage of living out the dream of my very empty hands, stretched out with a heart that only our heavenly Father can continue to fill and use to share more love with the children I have yet to meet.